This is a brick on my home’s patio. It looks like me I think. A bit weathered. A little spotty from neglect (mold). Still able to shine through if you look closely, you can see the original brick red color ~ a little older and aged from the wear and tear on the body. Oh yes, I am a rock.
Ask for help, me? Nah. I’ve tried. But I was met with judgmental shaking of the head and frustrating silences which I interpreted as the cogs in their brains now changing how they saw me, my family, my circumstances and not in a good way. So I’ve learned the art of keeping it to myself and it’s here where I am most comfortable, or should I say, I WAS more comfortable until the wounds began to seep deeper into my soul.
That’s where blogging has helped me to not be such of an island. Under the relative safety of blogging, I can tell my story without reprisal. I can tell the family secrets which haunt me. I can open up the wounds, ask for the comfort of connection in order to heal and I can hopefully be helpful to someone else in need.
My role was to be self-sufficient, to bring life and laughter to others and to be a positive happy puppet. I am a glass 1/2 full person in theory and mostly in reality. But it’s not reality when you laugh for the audience and cry in the dark from the pain you hide. It’s just not healthy and I truly want to find the healthy woman inside and let her out. I want to connect with others and not feel so alone.
I am a rock. I am strong, I will not be broken even though I am in pieces inside. But I can weather the storms and continue on if I have to ~ and I’ve had to my whole life.
Daily Prompt: I Am a Rock
Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us SELF.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/daily-prompt-self/
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